NewBeIn's Guide To Burning Man
Things were different this year. There was a large influx of NewBeIns in Black 
Rock City. These people didn't know what Burning Man was about and what was 
expected of them as citizens of our Great and Wonderful City.
I hope this brief guide will help the NewBeIn get into the swing of things and 
become a welcome and joyful participant in next year's Burning Man.
First, Burning Man is not a place to burn your trash.  People were throwing 
their empty beer bottles, camp trash and old furniture into the fires created by 
artists who were burning their art.  Many of them planned their exhibits 
carefully so that there would be nothing left on the playa but ashes.  Then some 
NewBeIns came along and tossed glass, metal-framed furniture, plastics, and 
other junk into the fire and left the mess for the artists to clean up.  Don't 
do it.  Take your stuff home with you when you leave.  If you make a mess, clean 
it up.
Second, Participate.  Get involved in a theme camp or activity.  Volunteer to 
Ranger, build exhibits, pick up trash.  There's lots to do in a big city -- get 
involved.  It's fun to appreciate nudity.  Don't just stand around gawking 
though -- strip down and enjoy the freedom.
Third, Animals.  I'm not going to tell you not to bring your pet.  Consider this 
though -- you've brought sunglass so that you don't burn out your retinas with 
UV radiation.  You've brought sunscreen to protect your delicate skin from the 
harsh, unrelenting sun.  You're able to shed layers of clothing when you're 
uncomfortable wearing them.  You've brought a dust mask so that you can breath 
during the occassional white-outs we get when the wind throws tons of dust into 
the air.  You know to drink plenty of water so you'll piss clear.  What about 
"Fido"?  I'm sure you'll find ways to help him adapt to one of the harshest 
environments on earth.  Also, you'll look great with your silver-painted naked 
body, fairy wings and that plastic bag of dog shit tied to your belt.
Fourth, Community.  Black Rock City is a very diverse community made up of people
with a vast range of interests.  No one should have someone else's trip imposed 
on them.  Be a considerate member of the community and keep in mind that not all 
of us want to dance all night as much as we might like technotrance or whatever.
Fifth, Rangers.  We're not cops, snoops, snitches, or narcs.  We're also not 
living maps who know where your friends are camped in a city 1/3 the size of San 
Francisco.  Our primary job is protect your life.  We do this by asking people 
to cap their rebar, by suggesting that you drink water, by informing you about 
changing weather conditions and other hazards.  Some of us also provide emergency
medical care.  We don't care how you got this way, we're here to help.
Sixth, Sherriffs. They are there in case a situation comes up that requires a 
heavy hand. They aren't going around looking for people to bust -- most of them 
are having as much fun as you are and understand the unique nature of our 
temporary civilization.  If you flaunt your bad habits in their face though, the 
joke's on you.
Seventh, Be prepared.  It's a desert out there. This particular desert has killed
off almost everything that has tried to live on it.  It will kill you if you let 
it.  Bring food, water, shelter, warm clothing, sunglasses, sunscreen (I'm black 
and I use SPF45), sturdy shoes, rebar, and duct tape.  Someone got past the gate 
and went up to the nearest Ranger and asked where he could buy a blanket.  That 
wasn't you was it?
Eighth, Be yourself.  For one week out of the year, you don't have to worry about 
impressing anyone.  No one cares how fat or skinny you are.  No one cares what kind
of car you drive or how much your clothes cost.  No one cares where you went to
college or who your ancestors are or where they came from.  The only thing that 
matters here is your own participation in the life of Black Rock City.  Express