The Return of Christ

by

Bill Clearlake
11/05/96

A crowd gathered in front of the courthouse.  They chanted in unison, 
"Jeeesus... Jeeesus... Jeeesus!"

In the midst of the crowd stood a man whose hair was like lambs wool, 
whose skin was the color of burnished bronze.  

He was surrounded by His entourage, The three wisest lawyers in the
world, and four large men, one African, one Caucasian, one Native American, 
and one Albino.  They wore identical dark suits and even darker sunglasses 
behind which their hidden eyes scanned the crowd like radar.  Jesus Himself 
was dressed in a plain gray suit, His long thick hair pulled back in a pony 
tail.  His beard was neatly trimmed and except for His old leather sandals and 
dark, piercing eyes, He looked like a typical young urban professional.

A reporter held up a small tape recorder and shouted above the din,

"Mister Christ, why have you returned?"
Jesus spoke softly, "I cometh to reclaim my kingdom under heaven."
The reporter asked, "Why do you need these bodyguards?"
Jesus held His hands up to the reporter, showing the horrible scars where
large nails had been driven through his palms.  He scowled into the reporter's
face and said sternly, 

"The son of man shall be crucified not again."

At that moment, a clergyman lunged at Jesus shouting,

"You're a fake! A fraud!  Death to the antichrist!"
The clergyman reached out to strangle the Christ, but before his grasping hands 
could reach the throat of their intended victim, the clergyman disappeared 
under a hail of fists.  One blow put out an eye.  Another knocked out a tooth.
He lay on the ground, gasping, holding a broken rib until uniformed officers 
handcuffed him and dragged him away.

Jesus raised a hand and the crowd fell silent as though their tongues had suddenly
turned to lead.  Then, He spoke,

"There are amongst you who preach hatred in my name.  There are amongst you
ministers who wouldst steal from the poor in the name of Heaven whilst they dost
eat the richest of meats and wear the vestments of wealth.  There are
amongst you ministers who wouldst condemn the sins of their brothers and their
sisters whilst they dost wallowest in sin thyselves."

Jesus waved His arms before Him and the crowd parted as though they'd been 
shoved aside by invisible arms.  Dwarfed by his four bodyguards, and with His 
lawyers close behind Him, Jesus made His way between the stunned faces of the crowd.
At the top of the stairs He turn to the crowd again saying,

"Upon you slanderers I bring a plague.  A plague no chemist can kill -- no doctor
can cure.  I bring upon you slanderers of my name a plague that will
tax your time, dwindle your wealth, spoil your fame, and vex your souls so ye be
reduced to that which thou art."

He turned towards the courthouse door which swung open before Him.  As Jesus and
his entourage entered the courthouse, Jesus was overheard to say,
"And so it beginneth.  A plague of lawsuits."

And so it began.